What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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