i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
