Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
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