physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
