The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
