Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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