I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
