One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
