Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
