pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize