im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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