Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
