That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I have aggressive nipples.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
