Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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