I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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