He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
