also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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