Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
my shit smells like andre
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
