I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
