I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
