bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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