she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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