she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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