Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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