just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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