Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(936): View more from Texas

Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.

(1-936): View more from Texas

Can I eat your pillow?

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(807): View more from Ontario

discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.

Fav 29 5798 879
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(778): View more from British Columbia

Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'

Fav 8 7524 1185
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(231): View more from Michigan

My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....

Fav 5 3147 1057
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.

Fav 21 3121 943
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(619): View more from California

He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.

(760): View more from California

Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.

Fav 1 1309 812
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(718): View more from New York

I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"

Fav 10 1599 763
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(516): View more from New York

I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole

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(209): View more from California

I'm peeing on your house...you up?

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