just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
It's Friday. Sex?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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