Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
