??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
