I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I look better un-naked...
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
