I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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