my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
