doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
