he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
