Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
