____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
