i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
