Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
