First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
This is classic penis vs brain.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
