I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
