just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
