I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
