Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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