kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
