My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
