I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
