You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
