i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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