sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
