oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
