I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
It was confusing and full of hummus
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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