A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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