I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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