Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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