i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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