the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
