yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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