Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
