Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize