Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
