I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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