it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
