Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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